RENT FIC OF RANDOMNESS
by Harry's Girl 01031992
Summary: The Bohemians are bored, so they decide to be random. I suck at summaries. Benny Bashing! Mua ha ha! Please R&R!


THE BOHEMIANS' RANDOM DAY!

**_DISCLAIMER: I don't own "Rent'' or any famous thing involved with this fic._**

**_A/N: This takes place in the present day._**

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One day at about 2 pm, the bohemians were chillin' out in the loft and it was a really rainy day that day.

Mark kept on stroking his video camera, convinced it would do the cha-cha while singing "Push It Real Good" by Salt 'n' Pepa.

Roger was doing the "I'm a Little Tea Pot" dance and singing _way_ off key which was really unusual, because Roger had perfect pitch.

Mimi was sitting in the corner of the loft softly giggling insanely and occasionally yelling things like, "DONUTS ARE GOOD FOR YOUR SOUL!" or "The mermaid who lives in my nose wants to kill me."

Angel kept on doing karate kicks at the refrigerator and singing "My Heart Will Go On" at the same time.

Collins was eating peanut butter and celery and he would cry hysterically every time he bit into one of his celery sticks.

Maureen was singing "Stars are Blind" by Paris Hilton while she was holding an empty bottle of Zima in her hand. So you could tell that she was really drunk, because no sober person would ever sing anything that had to do with an air-headed, racist, hotel heiress.

Joanne, on the other hand, being the only sane person in the group of friends, was cleaning up the loft and researching genetic manipulation.

Finally, the semi-silence was broken by Angel.

"I'm bored," he said. "Let's go do something."

"Like what?" Maureen drunkenly replied.

"I heard 'The Phantom of the Opera' was playing at the huge Broadway Theater." Mark offered.

"I've seen that a million times," Collins said. "If I hear the song 'All I Ask of You' one more time, I swear I'm going to hurl."

"How 'bout we are randomly, sporadically, spontaneous for today?" Mimi asked.

"That made absolutely no sense." Joanne cynically replied.

"I love that idea!" Roger exclaimed.

"Okay," Maureen said. "I'll go prank call Paris Hilton."

"I'll throw a TV and DVD player out the window if Benny comes along." Roger added.

"Angel and I will play rugby with hamburger buns." Collins declared.

"I'll fake a seizure." Mimi cried.

"I'll just sit here." Joanne mumbled.

"And I'll tape the whole thing." Mark said.

The chaos then began. At about 2:05, Benny showed up to collect the rent. Just as he was about to open the door, Roger released the secret weapons and Benny was knocked into a coma.

As Mark was filming, Maureen ran up to the camera and declared triumphantly while laughing hysterically, "I just told Paris Hilton to go jump out her hotel window and she actually did it!"

Mimi was so excellent at faking seizures, that she actually started foaming at the mouth and tried to swallow her tongue.

Angel whipped a 525,600 pound bag of hamburger buns at Collins. Collins fell out the window.

"Are you okay, honey?" Angel cried out the window.

"Yeah," Collins replied. "I have three broken ribs and my jaw is dislocated. But other than that, I'm fine."

As you might have guessed, Joanne just sat there, being her usual boring self.

About two hours later, the chaos was over. Everybody lay on the floor gasping for air and laughing silently.

About a half a second later, Mark said this: "I think I'll release this movie in theaters."

"You go do that then." Maureen tiredly replied.

The next day, the newspaper came and the headline was: "Documentary of Randomness is at the Top of the Box office." It turns out that the film earned an estimated $12,834,921,243,853,012,899.33 at the midnight showing _alone_.

Mark was lying on the couch with his bags of money and cuddling with them as if they were his babies.

If you were wondering about Benny… Well… he sort of turned into a human vegetable and he was never heard from again.

FIN

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**So... How'd you like it? If you review it, I'll make more fics like these. If you read this... Many thanks to you!**


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